That’s It! Gloves Came Off. I Am Being a Bitch.

I amazed myself how quickly I allowed a text from my brother enrage me this morning.  Within seconds I texted back with a very bitchy message.

In so many words I told him I am fed up with his “imagined” problems and have had ENOUGH!

Then I told him to stop worrying our parents about his worrying.  My dad’s health is not that great since he was so sick in September.  When Dad worries, it affects his health tremendously.

Normally I don’t say things like that to The Brother.  But enough already.  My brother gets a worry stuck up his ass and can not let it go.  Literally.  It consumes him to the point he completely and I do mean completely goes off the deep end.

He takes it to the point that he sometimes has to drugged up with meds (been there, done that), see a shrink and admitted to the psych ward because he starts talking about doing himself in.  Not kidding.  (do not for one moment I am taking that last part lightly.  I take it very seriously)  His brain is hard-wired to be like this.  It is really hard on his wife and our family.  We rally around him and he still won’t let it go.

He started last week with one simple text.  “I applied for a new job.”

See the word “job” coming from him sets alarms off for all family members.  He is so obsessed with being the breadwinner that the obsession completely, fully controls his every thought and action.  It is not normal.

So when my brother starts to worry about his job,  it is The Only Thing He Can Think About.  Which means all else is tuned out.  And he makes life for everyone around him a living hell.

Everything.  EVERYTHING FUCKING THING!!!  His home, his family, his wife, his entire world.  All he can think about his his god damn job.  And whether or not he is going to loose the damn fucking job.  Last year he misinterpreted an email from his boss.  His boss merely mentioned that some jobs would be requiring some training in the new year to keep up with technology.

My brother interpreted that to being he was being downsized.  The chaos and crap that ensued was horrible for the rest of us. Not one thing we said got through to him.  He was so sure that he was going to loose his job, loose his home and loose his kids.  Extreme.  I know but that is how he deals with things.  He has no mechanism with dealing with stress.  He just looses it.

Keep in mind, he is deaf.  He has an extra capacity of being able to tune the world out.  Completely tune it out like a hearing person can not tune out.  He retreats into a self-made cocoon and it is impenetrable.

Turns out he did not read the attachment to that email and missed important info.

So, at last weeks birthday party, talking to him was like talking to a wall.  All conversations started with him was returned with a blank stare on his part and a slight nod of the head.  I finally told him that I knew he was not paying attention to anything.  He said that I was right.  That he was worried about his job.

See, he heard that his department, data entry, someday will be phased out to a new form of technology.  That combined with an upcoming meeting and yep!

He is going to his bad place again.  This time I am not going to be suckered into that again.  I am hitting him between the eyes with some hard ass reality.  Being nice, kind, supportive just seems to fuel this mess.

So is my sister.  We have to protect our parents health.

The text that set me off was simply this, “So I thought Nate (his 14 year old son) could get a job.  But Becky (his wife) says he has to be 16.”

Like his wife lied or something.  I texted him back that why is he questioning his wife and how here he goes again.  Job talk.  I asked him why that is the only thing he ever texts me about.  Why does any other topic I bring up gets ignored?  Just him and jobs.

He has not answered my last text.

UPDATE!

Apparently he thinks it is ok because he texted about his son getting a job and not him.  He doesn’t get it.  The topic is still about jobs.  I texted back and mentioned that there are more important things in life and why is he even bringing that up in the first place.   Then I hit him with, “Why do you only talk about jobs?   Why have you not responded to my texts involving other subjects, such as Dad’s health?”

Again, no response.  See?  If I go off the topic of jobs, he just…whatever.  You see what I mean?

>Court

>

JA goes to court tomorrrow to give a depostition.  Legally Mari, the fatasscan’tkeephernoseoutofother’sbusiness relative had one more option to persue.  Her “legal rights” ya know.  The way it was persued and how it IS being persued is ridiculous. 

Last year I would have freaked.  This time I am calm, relaxed and barely give it a passing thought.  She STILL thinks that JA’s father ranks up there with Bill Gates and Donald Trump and oh, let’s throw in some rich foreign oil businessmen.
And we are hiding All This Money!
If WE had the money she claims…actually it belongs to JA’s mother with the sons getting a very small and legal portion.
hahahahaha
Without going into long, boring legal details, should she persist after tomorrow, we can legally go after her for harassement.  She will have no other reason to pursue us.  It already has been proven that JA never hid anything or did anything wrong by his mother or her estate. 
In other words, we can turn the tables on her.  And I have a feeling now that she is the guardian of JA’s mom’s estate, well, she is learning it a long, hard and unforgiving road to walk down…with EVERYONE chipping in their ideas to her care without giving any help.  JA has no regrets letting her get guardianship so he can deal with being diagnosed with being bipolar and becoming a husband and father the way he used to be.  I am glad he no longer does all that work.  It was too much and really took a hard toll on him and us as a family.  We nned him HERE!  His mom is getting excellent care and it makes no difference to her or her caregiving WHO does the guardianship.  But it does make a difference to us.  I think had it been a little more of a “normal” situation it would have been fine.  But it was not normal with JA running between his mother’s needs and his brother’s follies.
Say a prayer for us nonetheless because all good vibes in our direction can’t hurt!